The child constantly whines and is naughty. What to do? When the baby whines all the time The baby whimpers all the time

Any, even the most ideal mother, is sometimes annoyed by her child. Whether it's crying, indefatigable questions or hyperactivity. But whining is a special form of motherfucking. When this monotonous, already barely ignored walking on the heels develops into walking on the torment, some action must be taken. the site will explain why the baby "whines all the time" and how to stop it.

WHY baby whines all the time

1) Manipulation

Your baby probably cannot get something from you in acceptable ways in the form of requests or questions. And he uses a more advanced tactic - whining. When mommy is busy with something, tired, or she is not at all up to the child, she often allows and concedes even that which is not allowed at normal times. Noticing this, even a small baby remembers the whining method as a fail-safe remedy. And then, the kid projects the situation on a normal daily life and uses the tool for all his requests. Intuitively.

2) Attracting attention

Another common scenario is when a baby feels left out. For little people, parents are their whole life, their connection with the world. Therefore, being alone, they feel much more difficult than just being alone. Therefore, often kids are ready even for a negative reaction, if only their mother would pay attention to them. Let it be even a sharp "Leave me alone!".

3) Defense reaction

The child may constantly whine, speak in a whiny voice when he feels insecure. He does not know what to expect from his parents, does not understand patterns and gives out symptoms: whining and crying. Such circumstances are due to the failure of parents to fulfill their promises.

4) Desire to stay small

Also, according to psychologists, whining can serve as a kind of transformation of infant crying - a signal about the needs of the child. In addition, perhaps the child cannot get used to the changed attitude of the parent: "you are already an adult", "do not act like a little one." When a child was considered small, everything was forgiven and allowed to him. And now, when he is called to account, he tries to appear younger using whims. This often happens at the age of 2-3 years, when the parent recognizes the consciousness in the child and tries to bring up his independence. Therefore, asking the question "why does the child whine all the time at 3 years old?" Do not be surprised that this happens for the reason stated above.

After you figured out why your child is constantly whining, you need to understand HOW TO STOP IT:

1) Track when and under what circumstances your child uses the whining method.

2) Communicate with your baby. Find out in detail what worries him, what he is afraid of and what he is worried about. Speak in a calm tone, sit down with him at the same level.

3) Keep your promises, be consistent. Try to avoid uncertainty, do not let your child doubt you or your actions, let him always be confident and calm in the future.

4) Explain the reasons why you will not be able to devote time to the child at a particular point in time. Explain the importance of the call or the case you are working on. Then, be sure to make time for the baby's activities that you have put off.

It happens that your child whines and whines, and you feel how all your calmness dissolves and you can hardly restrain yourself from saying, “Stop yelling! When will you shut up?"

Or maybe you don’t hold back - and talk, and shout, and get annoyed! Each has its own margin of safety!

The whining of a child can be compared to the scratching of nails on glass (brrr) or the peeling of styrofoam. Ouch!

I don’t remember where I read that such sounds activate the genetic program of danger in us, and earlier it was with similar sounds that monkeys warned each other about the approach of predators.

And now we live in apartments, cities - and the body still reacts unconsciously!

Why is the child whining? 3 main reasons for whining baby

I'll start listing from least important to most relevant!

3. Wants to get something from you.

Children quickly understand our weak points, and if every time after the child whines, he gets what he wants. your nerves are not enough to listen to this terrible sound, and you are ready to give the last shirt to shut up - his behavior is fixed.

The child does not even need to learn to negotiate, look for and try new forms of communication. What for? After all, mom has a cool button that you can easily press with your whimpering and whining and the desired is in your hands.

Advice: get better! Remove the button! No means no! Switch the child, distract, explain, but do not follow the lead!

2. The child needs your attention.

Almost 80-90% of whims, tantrums, whining are solved by filling the child's vessel with love and your undivided attention. It was not for nothing that at first I compared whining with screeching on glass: this sound achieves its goal - my mother paid attention to me!

If you rarely see your child, work, or the baby goes to kindergarten, he needs time to feed on your love. Not enough love - will pull it in all possible ways. This does not mean that he is not educated, bad. No! This means that we are not fulfilling our function as a mother.

Advice: if you notice that the child began to whine often - drop everything and enter 20-30 minutes of daily communication with the child. It is important to be with the baby all this time, to belong to him undividedly, to do what HE wants, not you.

Turn off the phone, the Internet, the TV - hug the child and say: “I have 20 minutes. And I can be with you all this time. What do you want to do?"

1. The child is physically ill.

This group includes such reasons: wants to eat, drink. Tired. Wants to go to the toilet. Wants to sleep.

His body is tired, but while he is small, the child cannot distinguish what spoiled his mood. It cannot tell you in plain text "feed, drink and put to sleep." Therefore, first of all, we analyze the day and look for the cause of whining at the body level. These reasons are eliminated most quickly. The child will again be in a good mood.

Advice: work out a clear daily routine, in particular, you need to track the time of sleep and wakefulness.

After 2 years, we think that the child is already big and begin to follow this area of ​​the child’s life a little, let his life take its course and create difficulties for ourselves, expressed in a large number of tantrums and whims.

See also about main reasons for whining in my little video tutorial:

How to stop a child from whining?

You may hear advice about ignoring whining, or perhaps even punishing your child - but I don't agree with them!

We've broken down the top 3 reasons for baby whining, and every time you hear your baby whining plaintively, you should quickly go over those reasons and find the REASON!

Whining is a consequence of the internal needs of the child or his poor physical condition. And until you eliminate the cause - screaming, scolding, punishing the child does not make sense.

With such actions, you will only aggravate his well-being and worsen your relationship!

Ludmila Sharova.

Child psychologist. Breastfeeding and baby sleep consultant. Mother of three children.

Does your child sometimes whine and whimper to get what they want? This behavior is very annoying, isn't it? But why the child resorts to this method and what he wants to get, let's talk today.

In fact, the main purpose of whining is to get attention from adults. And if such behavior has a corresponding effect, i.e. if the child achieves what he wants, then it will be fixed.

Therefore, rule number 1 - do not give in!

The whimper can be loud, exhausting, or plaintive. A mixture of whining and crying can piss anyone off. And sometimes this very whining can turn into a real one. Most often, the peak of whimpering and whining occurs at the age of 4 years, but if nothing is done about it, then it will continue into school age. I would like to note that the child learns to whine and whine, which means that he can be successfully weaned from such behavior. And the sooner you get down to business, the fewer opportunities for your child to grow up as an annoying and annoying person.

What to do when the child whines?

Don't indulge him

Set a complete rejection of such behavior.

Remember that almost all children resort to this method, but the most important thing in the fight against a terrible habit is to remain calm, which will not allow the child to win and get what he wants. The more often you indulge your whim, the sooner the habit will develop into arrogance, insolence and tantrums. Don't let your child think that this behavior will ever work.

The best way to stop a whining child is to refuse to listen to his requests in such a tone. Perceive only normal, adequate intonations. As soon as you hear a whimpering tone, immediately stop it. You can say, “Stop now! I won't listen to whining. You can ask for whatever you want in a normal tone.”

After that, you can step aside or turn away until the whining stops. When the child has calmed down, say, “Now that you are speaking normally, I am ready to listen to you. What do you want?" Most importantly, do not show your anger or irritation. No need to overreact.

Show your child by example

Choose a time when the child is calm and talk to him. Explain that whining is unacceptable for you. Explain the difference between a normal voice and whining. Tell him that you will only listen to him when he speaks calmly. Not always whimpering means that the child is doing it to spite you. He may whine because he doesn't know or understand that such behavior is annoying. Your task is to ensure that the child fully understands that whining is an unacceptable way of behavior.

Enter the rules and norms of behavior

Tell your child that from now on, he will be rejected whenever he whines. It is important that you yourself follow this rule and refuse to listen to even the slightest sounds like a whimper. The child will quickly realize that this technique no longer works, and you do not even discuss this behavior.

Enter punishment if the child continues to constantly whine

Punishments and penalties should be applied whenever a child behaves unacceptably. Sometimes you will have to change your own plans, stop walking, leave the store, etc. But if you really decide to eradicate a bad habit, there should be no concessions and hopes that the child will correct himself.

Monitor your own emotions

Do not show that you are angry or very annoyed. And be sure to praise the child if he behaves well and can calmly communicate his desires. Remember, it takes time to break a bad habit. Be patient and never give up.

All mothers, without exception, are familiar with such a state of their own child, when he or she, regardless of gender, whines non-stop. How to wean a child to whine, I would like to know every parent. I really want to avoid the irritation caused by unreasonable whining and all the extreme measures that follow this state. The child seems to be specifically forcing his guardians to take drastic measures in the form of a corner and deprivation of all kinds of pleasures. Measures taken in an excited state help little and bring practically no benefit at all.

Before punishing a child for frequent whining, it is necessary to determine the cause of the baby's anxiety.

The punishment is followed by a new wave of whining, accompanied by claims that are now “legitimate” from the point of view of the child, in terms of the fact that the parents do not love his poor man at all and only punish him, and without any reason. Chadushko safely forgets at that moment what caused the punishment or restriction on life's pleasures, and behaves like a little man unfairly offended by an evil fate.

At such moments, the “aggressor” (and part-time loving parent) really begins to feel like a monster incapable of objective judgments and quality education. Anyone who is faced with constant childish whining, the educator will say that this phenomenon does not give vitality and can exhaust more than any physical work.

What factors can cause chronic whining?

To decide in the world of children's whims and understand the difference in the reasons for whining of a five-year-old and a two-year-old baby, a comparison and listing of the reasons most often used by children to “turn into a nightmare” the lives of adults nearby will help. It is easy to identify these phenomena. Often, an aggravation in terms of meaningless whining begins at the moment when grandparents come to visit. Why? The fact is that sometimes the reasons for whims are precisely the lack of communication and affection.

The child wants every member of the family to love and please the little egoist. And if this does not happen - immediately tears and tantrums

How to wean a child from crying for any reason, if parents, constantly busy with their work and household chores, consider that if the child is dressed, shod and fed, is this enough for a proper educational process? An, no. The child also wants love. Moreover, not in a dosed amount, but without edge and measure, in order to be treated kindly from all sides, crumpled by loving hands to the state of dough, literally half strangled by parental kisses.

And these are not fictions: after all, children feed on love, they need it for proper development and normal spiritual maturation. Have you noticed sometimes that the baby goes around everyone at home and literally collects kisses?

Let's just say that a child should be 25 hours a day one hundred percent sure that not only mom and dad love him, it goes without saying, but the whole Universe too. Only then the baby is enough, and there are a little less reasons for the roar. A little about what else, in addition to lack of love, makes a baby or a child cry - these may be the following factors:

• painful condition;
• lack of attention;
• mood;
• inability to occupy oneself without the help of adults;
• longing for loved ones;
• spoiled;
• way to achieve your goal;
• desire to appear small;
• trait.

Even a little person can be in a bad mood. It seems to parents that he deliberately shakes their nerves. But maybe just come up with an interesting activity for the baby?

Hidden diseases

It happens that a constantly whining baby, especially if he still does not know how to speak and cannot correctly answer your questions like “Where is Vava”, you just need to be examined. Take him to the doctor for a checkup.

It is possible that the child is simply in pain. Children, as well as adults, are capable of getting sick, this is understandable to everyone, so you should not let everything take its course, believing that the baby is just being naughty. It is better to exclude more serious reasons to begin with and only then take up education.

Lack of attention

Often the concepts of an adult and a child about the “dosage” of love diverge dramatically. If it seems to us, big people, that in terms of games and affection our baby is completely satisfied, in reality this may not be the case at all. There is no need to be indignant about the fact that there is not enough time for everything. Sometimes half an hour a day allocated specifically for the interests of the child is enough to make him feel important and necessary.

The child needs communication with parents and joint games. And you need to do not only what the parents consider necessary, but also important, in the opinion of the baby, things, for example, reading books or blowing soap bubbles

We are talking about the game and face-to-face communication without any distractions such as a phone. Hand on heart, we honestly admit to ourselves that sometimes most of the parents communicate more often with a computer screen than with their own children.

Our small (and not so) crumbs are also subject to the influence of weather factors, geomagnetic storms and other "natural evil spirits". A child is no worse than an adult, the mood can deteriorate from boredom or a rudely spoken word. It is not necessary to assume that the baby does not understand anything, and you can say anything to him.

Paying attention to the spiritual mood of the child and choosing expressions in conversations with him, you can avoid many unpleasant tricks on his part. Do not make him cry by humiliating him with harsh language. In other words, respect your child, but you will be respected.

Inability to properly organize your leisure time

Many toddlers and even older children, like five-year-olds, fail to make good use of their free time. Left alone with themselves, the children begin to get bored and then pester adults with the same question that sounds something like this:

- Mom, well, ma-a-m, what can I do? So until the mother, out of patience, shouts at the child or puts her in a corner. How to wean? There is, of course, an alternative solution - to play with the child and he will stop crying, but this is not always possible due to total employment.

pampered

Sometimes the reason why a child begins to cry is an ordinary lack of education, it is easier to say spoiled. In overly spoiled children, a trait appears in the character that does not allow him to calmly remain on the sidelines.

Such a baby needs to be constantly in the center, he needs the close attention of adults and round-the-clock participation and service to his little person. Here, parents should not complain, because such behavior of the child is a direct result of their connivance and permissiveness.

Is your toddler trying to beg for a new toy by whining? Stop it right away. At a younger age, it’s hard to resist tears in the eyes, but in the future, the ability to negotiate purchases will greatly save both the budget and nerves

As a way to achieve your goal

For example, 7, 8, 9-year-old youths are quite capable of intentionally getting on the nerves of their parents, snarling and howling:

“No one loves me poor, and they don’t buy me anything. Look, Tanya has a new phone, but I don’t have any at all. If babies at 4-5-6 years old are only able to cry and beg for toys, then with age the methods of influence remain the same, but the needs increase.

It's not just the years that grow. This is especially noticeable in cash spending. What to do? It is best to try to deal with the habit of whining at a young age, this will help avoid financial ruin when the child grows up. Do not forget that soon the harmfulness of adolescence and hypertrophied resentment will be added to the bad habit. This is a highly explosive mixture.

Desire to stay small

Unreasonable tears, as well as intentionally infantile behavior, are often manifested in those children in whose family younger brothers or sisters appeared. Up to this point, everything was great, parents were always happy to play, but then everything changes in an instant, and the baby increasingly hears phrases like “do it yourself”, “sit quietly”, “you are already big” and so on. What nerves can handle it? Naturally, he is trying with all his might to turn family life back to its usual course and prove to everyone that he is still very small and also needs care and help.

What should parents do?

excluded

1. To succumb to tearful manipulation and follow the little crybaby. Children quickly understand that the desired goal can be achieved by crying and crying.
2. Ignore the tears. It is impossible to ignore a crying child, since the problem remains unresolved (see also:). Leaving the baby alone with tears will only aggravate the situation.
3. It is highly recommended not to shout, call names, use physical methods. "Shut up or I'll put you in a corner", "Stop yelling!", "Now you will be taken away by an evil policeman." These phrases are often used by parents, but none of them help to fix the problem. In this case, adults themselves begin to manipulate children, and very aggressively. As a result, the child only withdraws into himself, harbors resentment or is exposed to fear. And he might start crying even more.
4. No need to suppress emotions by forbidding crying. Regular suppression of natural emotional manifestations leads to nervous disorders.

Scolding, punishing and blackmailing are the worst methods of "interacting" with a crybaby

How right?

• It is important to learn how to calmly respond to crying. When an adult cry joins the tears of a child, a general hysterical drama is obtained. Calmness and silence will help in case of pressure of the baby. He will understand that tears will not be able to achieve what he wants and calm down.
• Adoption of a sensitive and emotional baby. He is what he is. Do not focus on his tearfulness, try to praise for his kindness.
• Learn to switch the interest of a whiny child. If something offended him, upset him or hurt him, then you need to try to distract him from children's misfortune. Find him an interesting activity and the kid will forget about the cause of the disorder.
• When a child feels bad, it is necessary to be there, to show sympathy and support by personal example. In this way, we teach children adequate behavior in a difficult situation. Small children require adults to pay attention to their troubles: “Have pity”, “Pet”, “Sit next to me”.
• If the child is capricious, demands the impossible, then you need to calmly and without aggression explain to him that crying will not help: “I understand you, but I can’t fulfill your demand.” It is worth learning to recognize provocations and explain to the baby that crying only upsets, and does not help to knock out what you want.
• At the end of the day, you can take stock and praise the child for a day spent without whims and crying. You can give your baby homemade medals and count how many they got. In this case, it is impossible to scold, we fix only positive results.
• In some cases, it is worth reconsidering your parental views. Sometimes a child reacts to the adult world with tears, as he cannot express his emotions and feelings otherwise.

So, in order to learn how to cope with children's tantrums and crying, you need to get to know your child better, in some cases it is useful to change the parenting style of parenting.

many small children whine, whimper and cry to get the attention of parents. Usually this goes away with age, but until a certain time, this whining annoys parents a lot and they simply do not understand how to stop a child from whining .

Often parents make concessions to the child, just not to hear his whining. Parents know what they're doing is wrong, but they just can't stand it when child whines or can't stand baby crying. However, after a concession, they invariably read a little lecture to the child about how they tired of listening to whining, crying or whimpering . This lecture, as a rule, is completely ignored by the child and, unfortunately, does not change his behavior.

The best way for parents to behave when child whines will be completely ignored.

If a parent finds it difficult to bear when baby whines all the time or when baby whimpers , then he needs to retire to a place where the child cannot follow him. If you are at home, you can lock yourself in the bathroom until the child stops whining.

A very effective way to deal with a whimpering child can be "shock therapy." Instead of asking your child to stop whining and whimpering, you can ask your child to whine every time he starts talking. One mother who used this technique with her whining son reminded him that she was so accustomed to whining that if her son did not whine, she began to miss him. After that, the whining completely stopped, and Mom never mentioned it again.

Sometimes it is enough not to interfere, not to say anything, not to scold, and simply not to pay attention to the behavior of the whining child. In this case, the child often solves his own problems. For example, one mother told me that her daughter liked to whine about being bored. Mom completely ignored her daughter's behavior and, in the end, she announced that she would go listen to CDs in her room.

A psychologist at a consultation can offer parents different options for responding to undesirable behavior of children, sometimes some kind of recommendation may not work. In this case, the consultant next time will offer another option. But it also happens that, having understood the general approach to the problem, parents themselves come up with new techniques that turn out to be effective.