How to marry a woman with a child. He chose a woman with a child as his wife ... Relationships that do not shine anything good! The attitude of a man to a girl with a child
Please note that not everyone writes in the questionnaire about the presence of children. We will not consider the causes of the phenomenon, but we will imagine a certain typical woman with a child (children) and her prospects for becoming a wife. What can prevent this?
Reason 1: child(ren)
After all, a man likes a woman, why should this fact make it necessary to take on the burden of raising someone else's child? Women, on the other hand, consider this position selfish. Yes, a man should be an egoist, in the good sense of the word. He is simply obliged to take care of the continuation of his kind, of the best conditions for his family, for his own children. From time to time the women talk. No, no, let something like fly out of their mouths: “Yes, it makes no difference to a peasant whether his child is or not. Even better: behind the most problematic age. Yes, there are differences for men. And what else!
Every normal man (and this is the law of nature) seeks to educate his children, to pass on skills, knowledge, wisdom, property from generation to generation. But I want to do this only for the sake of blood heirs, those children in whom one can observe their own traits and traits of their kind.
Moreover, the law of nature instructs the male to spread his genes wherever possible. But the adoption of other people's children is contrary to the nature of men. I’m not afraid of criticism and I will give an example from the life of the wild: lions first of all kill the children of their female from a past “marriage”.
Other people's children in themselves are the clearest reminder of a woman's past belonging to another man. Those women who blame men for not wanting to marry a divorcee with a child, I want to ask: are you ready to raise a man’s children from past marriages?
Reason two
Marrying a woman with a child is simply unnatural. In the normal course of things, a woman enters a man's house and a new family is formed with a man at the head. In the case of a divorce with children, a man enters an already existing (inferior) family, where a woman is at the head. Thus, from the very beginning, the traditional, natural family hierarchy is violated, at the head of which is a man, husband, father of the family. This circumstance in itself calls into question the strength of such a family. It is unlikely that a building based on a “crooked foundation” will be durable.
In itself, joining a man to an already existing family strikes at his pride and, to a large extent, determines the nature of the relationship between spouses: a woman is in a state of stable dominance.
Know: for a divorce with a child, you will always be in third place: she, the child, you. Only in this order. And this is at best. For very often the role of a surrogate male head of the family is performed by the woman's mother. She is an unconditional ally of a woman in a past divorce, and, often, an instigator of it.
Reason three
Very often, a woman with a child, seeking to remarry, is looking, first of all, for a supplier of material resources who will help her put her child (children) on their feet. In relation to this task, the personality of the man himself goes to the tenth plane. This is a completely understandable motivation for a woman, but, of course, a male candidate for husbands will not be initiated into her essence. From the point of view of a woman, everything is logical and fair, as it should be: "a man must provide for a woman and children." The only question is why this man.
Reason four
The fact is that the very fact of a woman's divorce is a huge minus for her. Let me explain: even if we accept that her ex-husband is to blame for everything in the world, then the woman is at least to blame for choosing such a husband and such a father for her children.
In any woman, by nature, there is a mechanism for choosing a strong, intelligent and high-quality male, therefore, in choosing a partner, women are guided by marriage with a real man (nature has never set such a task for a man). Therefore, it is the woman who is responsible for the wrong choice of husband and divorce.
In practice, both spouses are to blame for the destruction of relationships. However, the woman is more responsible for the psychological climate in the family. Consider what is behind her divorce. Inability to build or maintain relationships? Bad temper? Selfishness? Excessive demands on a man? Irresponsibility? Treason? The low value of the family as such in her eyes? Don't know. In any case, some of the above is present to one degree or another, and more often - all of the above in varying proportions and relationships. Recall the statistics: 75-80% of divorces occur precisely at the initiative of women.
Reason five
In any undertaking, one should take into account the likely prospects. There are a lot of pitfalls in marrying a divorced woman with a child. Well, here are a few at a glance:
- Relations with the child (children) will not work out, the possible jealousy of the child or his unwillingness to see someone else in the place of his father;
- Pedagogical “triangle”: you can’t let everything down and forgive the child, but you also can’t go too far and, thus, run into the dissatisfaction of the mother, who suspects you of being biased towards someone else’s child;
- There are quite a lot of cases when a woman considers her mother's program already completed and they ignore the desire of a man to have common children;
- The presence of the biological father of the child (children) somewhere near your family is unlikely to enrich your family life with positive moments;
All attempts to talk about the shortcomings of divorced women as potential brides, most often, are perceived by the women themselves with hostility, enrage them. The counterarguments, if they can be considered as such, look something like this:
Others got it
“But my girlfriend / sister / acquaintance / I myself got married with a child (children), they live happily, he loves the child (children) very much” and all that. So the main thing is love, getting married to a divorcee with a child is very simple.
Here you are very mistaken. Rather, you are deluding yourself. The main property of exceptions is that they catch the eye, attract attention and remain in memory for a long time. Yes, there are such examples, and you cite them, but you did not count those who did not marry divorcees with children, and I assure you there are hundreds of times more of them.
Divorced women love the idea that they have the same chance of getting married. It is psychologically more comfortable for them to think that this is so, but even a strong desire for equal chances does not, alas.
Real men haven't died yet
A real man (said with a breath and an accentuating pause) will love the children of his woman, only such a “real” one is capable of love, care, tenderness, self-giving. Weak "muschshchinki" are not capable of real feelings.
Ladies, do not try to speculate with the concept of a “real man”, because in your eyes his “realness” lies in the satisfaction of your “wishlist”, in accordance with your settings and, often, in submission to you and control over you. Therefore, I am sincerely glad that I am not such a “real” in your eyes, I am sure that I will never be like that, as well as millions of other men.
I won’t be surprised if your new acquaintance turns out to be a +1 girl. There are really a lot of them. And having a child, of course, does not make them unsuitable for sex. For example, my personal statistics are as follows: among the girls I know, almost a third are divorced and have offspring.
At the same time, they didn’t score on their career or on themselves, they look great, they are keenly interested in men, and not just in diapers and powders.
At the same time, there are guys who, having learned about the presence of offspring, instantly decide "Well, fuck" and dissolve in the haze of the surf. But those who do not mind continuing the acquaintance, but have no idea how to do it, according to my personal feelings, are much more. For them, I decided to formulate rules for communicating with single mothers (or “independent mothers”). Some, probably not too obvious rules - otherwise, one wonders, why would men break them so often?
1. Do not worry that they will certainly want to hook you up
If you think that the main goal of all women raising a child in two hands is to quickly find a new husband for themselves and, in combination, a new dad for a child, then you are mistaken. * Of course, in nature there are girls who feel like without a permanent man left without a leg or arm. But there are not so many of them, and the fad for marriage becomes obvious after the first date. Most divorced girls have earned themselves a persistent allergy to registry offices, rings, dolls on the hood and other matrimonial fun. Others are just being careful (and rightly so), preferring to take their time.
The micro-survey I conducted among women of the “+1” format showed that they initially meet men mainly for two purposes: 1) sex; 2) the opportunity to take a break from family affairs for a while. That is, they, first of all, do not need a husband and father, but a confidently standing penis and the opportunity to talk about something other than the color of children's poop. So if I were you, I would immediately try to get rid of the paranoid fear that they want to tie you up and deprive you of your freedom at all costs. They say that this has a negative effect on potency - which, you see, would be very inopportune.
* The stump is clear, everything in our life is possible. And any acquaintance can hypothetically result in a stamp in the passport. But the point in this case is that girls with children, as a rule, do not prowl purposefully in search of a new husband and do not develop cunning plans to tame him.
2. Clearly formulate your plans for life and for her
If you do not intend to get involved in anything long-playing and binding, but simply looking for entertainment - say so. And do not pretend to be a thoroughbred prince on an artiodactyl, if only to quickly see a girl with her legs up to her ears.
And ordinary, not burdened with offspring, citizens should not be misled about the seriousness of their intentions. And even more so for women with children. If not for the sake of a girl (which, in fact, would be noble and masculine), then at least out of male solidarity - that is. for the sake of her gender brothers, whom she will date after you. Her faith in men was already severely tested. Don't spoil your karma, don't make her even more cynical, neurotic, and suspicious than she probably already is.
3. Respect her time
A woman with a child is a regime creature. Her every day is scheduled to the minute. And, take my word for it, she needs to work hard to find time for a date, and before the meeting, have time to drop by a beautician or at least comb semolina out of her hair.
Respect her efforts and time. We agreed to meet on Wednesday at 6 pm - break into a cake, but show up on time. We agreed that at 9 o'clock she should board a taxi and depart towards the house - do not try to persuade her to "one more time on the track." If ordinary women value spontaneity and impetuosity in gentlemen, then a woman with children appreciates elementary punctuality and commitment.
4. Don't insist on getting to know your child
We are talking about a situation where you are not eager to meet face-to-face with a child. But it seems like it should, it’s supposed to be, it’s accepted - since the meetings with his mother are systematic. No and no again!
Between the guy who showed up in the life of a child simply because “it’s necessary”, and the one who, for the sake of general peace of mind, preferred to stay away, women of the “+1” format vote for the second. As long as the baby does not know about your existence (and a rare mother will report to a small child that she went on a date with Uncle Pasha, who seems to be nothing, only snores and says "lays down" She doesn't ask questions. And divorced girls will not let you lie: the absence of a man in the house is not so scary as questions about where he went and when they will go to the zoo with the whole family.
5. Don't teach her to be a mother
It's none of your business who she left the baby with to fly off into the night with you. She does not need your advice that it is better to relax with children not in Turkey, but in Tenerife, where the climate is milder and the water is cleaner. And believe me, she will do just fine without your conclusions about the benefits of vaccinations and the dangers of co-sleeping (unless, of course, you are a professional pediatrician - and even that is not the fact that you will not be asked to shut up).
No matter how well-intentioned you may be, everything said will be taken with hostility (because it will certainly go against her own opinion). “Mamstvo” and everything related to the upbringing and ensuring the safety of the child is her and only her territory. And feeling that someone is encroaching on this territory, even the most meek and accommodating human female usually turns into an angry porcupine, spitting napalm. Plus, in her memory, such conversations with the ex-husband (which strengthened the couple’s desire to divorce) will instantly pop up in her memory, which will also not benefit your relationship.
6. Stay out of her relationship with the baby's father
According to an old female tradition, it is customary to experience a whole range of extremely conflicting emotions for ex-husbands. This is both bitterness (a rare parting does without it), and sentimental "we are not strangers", and resentment for the child. Add to this the alimony, the common living space and a host of other tense utility-economic aspects - and you get a hell of a complicated story, in which it is safer not to meddle.
It doesn't matter what you say after listening to another heartbreaking story ( "Well, your ex is a freak" or “Any normal man would have done the same in his place”), I swear - it will play against you later. Of course, easier said than done. Because the girl will inevitably dip you into the details of their difficult relationship. Therefore, it is wiser to immediately rehearse a neutral-friendly facial expression, learn to nod and skillfully translate the topic. The less often the ghost of your ex-husband visits your dates, the easier and more pleasant your relationship will be.
Increasingly, in our time, there are women who are not only not married, but their relationships are quite rare. And she seems to be pretty, educated, economic, etc. - in a word, almost ideal. But here's the personal life does not get better. And it is not clear whether the men do not notice, or the problem is in herself. But everything turns out to be much simpler - she just has a child ...
Having wandered a little through the expanses of the World Wide Web, I was very surprised and amazed at the position of many regarding girls with a child. There was an impression that they were put an end to: since there is a “dowry” that no man needs, then they will remain alone until the end of their days. Individual opinions made my hair stand on end. So, it was proposed to ban (!) Such girls from starting relationships with men. What caused such negativity, I do not know.
For a long time I did not want to bring up this subject. However, after reading an article on one of the sites on a similar topic, I realized that, taking the opportunity, it is worth bringing it up for general discussion. The meaning of the article was extremely simple: girls with a child should not be considered as potential life partners. The author gives a number of reasons to prove his beliefs. And today I would like to dwell on each of these reasons separately.
- In fact, the child himself. A man is not obliged to take on the burden of raising someone else's child.
In my opinion, the position of an egoist. Yes, the child is from another, but he is a part of the woman that the man loves. The main task of a man is to create conditions for procreation, to educate a new generation. And nothing prevents him from taking on an offspring from another and creating a new family with his beloved woman. After all, cases are different, and if for some reason he cannot have children, then he has two options: to abandon the thought of children or to take on someone else's upbringing. The example of lions is often remembered when a new leader kills the cubs of the old male. But we are not animals, and in addition to instincts, we also have reason. And why exactly lions? In nature there are many instructive examples of fidelity and worthy education of the new generation. For some reason, none of the men remembers about the female praying mantis ...
- A new family is not created, but a man enters an existing one, where a woman will be the head.
Perhaps a few years ago this could be attributed to significant reasons. But now, when a woman is increasingly becoming the head of the family, it is impossible to speak categorically about this. Men themselves give leadership, so as not to bear the entire burden of responsibility for the family. And not every woman, and even more so with a child, wants to take on an additional burden of responsibility. For this, she needs a man, her support and support. So that it does not create new problems, but solve existing ones. She was tired of being strong and deciding everything for everyone. I want to obey and give all the "power" to the man.
- A woman with a child is looking, first of all, for a "supplier of funds", and the personality of a man fades into the background.
This statement is very similar to the female “Men only need sex from us.” A woman needs confidence in the future. She must clearly know that her man will be able to provide for herself and the child. And money is only one of the components of this confidence. Especially when it's not just about her. There must be a strong man nearby. And as for his personality, few are able to live with an unloved person. Of course, for the sake of the child, the mother is ready and not for that. As a rule, women who are looking exclusively for financial wealth rarely go into a serious relationship. As a mistress, as an option. And here the choice is up to the man - to agree or not to such a "relationship".
- The fact of having a child and the fact that the woman was left alone is her huge minus. In other words, if a woman had brains, she would do anything to be close to the father of the child.
Let's start with the fact that there are many reasons why a woman was left alone with a child. For some reason, everyone forgets about accidents, from road accidents to injuries at work. In this case, it is not the woman's fault. It turns out that now you can put an end to her personal life. But why, if she can still start a family with another man. As for the other reasons, we can name both a divorce and the result of an unsuccessful relationship. Of course, both are to blame for the divorce. But the reasons for this very divorce are different. Therefore, I don’t see anything wrong with the fact that a woman decided not to torture herself and her child. Yes, and they get married, as a rule, in the region of 20 years, when the body is full of hormones and emotions. There is almost no room for common sense. And when everyday life enters into life, they realize that the wrong person is next to them. And by this time, the child usually has time to be born. Everything is more complicated with those whose child was born without marriage. “Brought”, “worked up” - call it what you want, the meaning is the same. That's just someone pushes the child to the parents and goes on a walk, and someone takes his head and becomes a caring and loving mother. These are all, again, young girls with no life experience. Having made a mistake in their youth, they deserve a second chance at family and happiness.
- A woman with a child is not so stupid, and it is more difficult to deceive her or change her outlook on life.
I did not fully understand this reason. It turns out that the fact that a woman has her own point of view, knows what she wants from life, is a negative point. Yes, such women clearly follow their plans, they know what kind of man should be around. And hanging noodles on them is not so easy. Therefore, they rarely agree to the fleeting novels that men want so much. They are only interested in serious relationships. So it turns out that due to inaccessibility and clear plans, they were classified as second-class.
In addition to the article, other reasons were indicated (problems with the father of the child, pedagogical aspects, relationships with the child, etc.), but these are all arguments in favor of the poor. After talking with friends who married a woman with a child, I realized one thing: if a man has a desire to be close to his beloved woman, then no reason will stop him. And he will stop at nothing to make her happy. And as for those very reasons, there can only be one - public opinion (“What will people say…”; “How will it look…”; “What if…”). Obeying the traditions and customs, the opinion of the crowd, a man often acts as society dictates (“Why do you need this one with a “dowry”, if there are many free people around without a child ?!”). However, we live for ourselves, not for society. And here already, as in life in general, whoever wants - is looking for an opportunity, who does not want - is looking for those very reasons ...
When two build their relationship, they are free to dispose of themselves, their actions, as they wish. If there is a child in the relationship, the relationship is built a little differently. There is one more person in the relationship, whose interests are taken into account, first of all, by a woman. But a man cannot but be aware of a certain share of his responsibility, entering into a relationship with a woman who has a child.
From both the male and female side, the prospects for relationships should be soberly assessed. If this relationship is superficial and short-lived, this should be clear to both parties. If the relationship has a future and both feel something more than just sexual attraction, the child should not be perceived as something third. He is a member of the family and, entering into a long-term relationship with a woman, a man must understand that this family already consists of two people - a woman and her child.
There is an opinion that women who have a child have the goal of remarrying at any cost and solving existing problems - single parenting of a child, material issues, and gaining support in life. It really is. Every woman wants to ever after marriage enter into a healthy, fulfilling relationship with another man, and if she has a child, she, of course, wants the man she loves to have a good relationship with her child. But not every woman in our time is ready to marry any man just to achieve these goals. A woman may dream of the appearance of such a person in her life, but it is not a fact that she sees this prospect in a particular man.
A woman who has a child may simply want an easy, non-committal relationship, while not wanting to open the door to her house and introduce a man to her child. That is, for a woman in such a situation, there is a division - there is a house where her beloved child is waiting for her, there is a man with whom she spends time. And this separation means that the woman protects the feelings of the child, preventing the appearance, perhaps, of the hallways of men in the house. In such a situation, if a man does not consider further prospects, it is enough for him to show respect and simply observe the outlined framework. If a man, aiming at a one-night stand, insists on getting to know the child and uses this as a possible incentive to continue dating, demonstrating aspirations that he is not going to support, this indicates his indifference and stupidity. But a woman who has a child must soberly assess the prospects - she is responsible not only for her feelings, but also for the feelings of her child.
If the relationship between a man and a woman becomes more serious and the prospect of developing a relationship is clear for both, then contact with the child becomes obvious. Optimal - the beginning of a relationship from afar. Let the child feel sympathy in adult relationships, but he should not think that for some time he was isolated and now he becomes a participant in the moment of the formed loving family. The child has his own father, he can remember mom and dad together. Acceptance of other relations of one of the parents for the child may be fraught with inconvenience, discomfort - how to react, how to behave? Therefore, for starters, you can simply introduce the child and the man to each other. Let the acquaintance be easy, short-lived. That is, you need to increase momentum gradually. And, of course, it is not advisable to arrange a stormy night behind the wall of a child - he needs to be given time to get used to and introduce a man into his life as comfortably as possible.
It can be easy for men to bond with a child. Especially if the child did not have or does not have a father, and there is a need in him to communicate with adult men in the role of "father". But a woman needs to be aware that by introducing a man into the house, she is responsible for the feelings of the child. The man himself does not bear any responsibility, except for the observance of certain moral principles, which he may or may not have. And if a man disappears from a woman’s life after some time, it will be she who will answer the child’s questions and catch incomprehensible, and possibly reproachful glances.
But still, how do men treat children if they really love a woman? As a rule, quite positive and calm. In many men, starting from a certain age, the need for a family increases, many consciously want a family. And when they meet a woman for whom they have feelings, they do not see the child as something separate from the woman, they perceive both the woman and her child as a family, perhaps not yet his, but at least as one and indivisible whole.
One thing is if a man really has feelings for a woman. It's no secret that men are quite pragmatic. If a man loves a woman separately from her child, then he perceives her partially, roughly speaking, only that part of her that suits him. For a selfish man, he and his comfort will always come first. Even in a woman without a child, he will see convenience first of all for himself. While a truly loving man will show a willingness to give care.
An important point is how ready a man is for family life with a child. As mentioned earlier, a man may already have a desire to have a family - roughly speaking, he walks up and feels the desire and readiness to create something of his own. It is this feeling that underlies a successful union with a woman who has a child. If this feeling is not there, then it is likely that even with strong feelings for a woman and a good attitude towards her child, a man simply will not be ready for a relationship in which a child is present. Not because he is bad, but because he simply will not be mentally prepared for this. For life with a child, only love for a woman is not enough, this is life and responsibility that an unprepared man may face. To some extent, a man must either be inclined towards family life on his own, or come to the realization that he wants a family. If the child becomes a limitation for him - the inability to spontaneously go on vacation, go out with friends, etc., then the man quickly realizes that the inconvenience is more uncomfortable for him than the loss of the woman with whom he builds a relationship. The rhythm of a family with a child is fundamentally different from the rhythm of a family without a child. Everything - from cooking tomorrow, meeting from kindergarten, talking with whom to leave the child in case of a necessary departure, and quiet sex behind the wall - all this requires certain adjustments for a person who has come to a ready-made family life. And you can’t blame a man that at some point inconvenience can become too burdensome for him.
This literally means that the man was not ready for family life with a child, and, perhaps, most importantly, he was not ready to build a family life with a specific woman. In a man's life, his choice is the priority. And if inconvenience becomes a reason for him to refuse a woman, it means that he has chosen himself, his comfort and his convenience, but not a woman.
A separate issue is the perception of a man by the woman herself and his positioning in the family. A man does not become the father of her child. A child can have his own father, whom he loves, and there should not be shifted accents - his dad is his dad, and his mother’s beloved man can be a friend, a person he respects. It is impossible to demand from a child that he perceives a man as a father, just as it is impossible to demand from a man that he considers a child his own. If this desire is formed in both, then it is definitely not from the outside. Relationships should be built naturally. There are families in which the stepfather is closer than the natural father, but this is the result of a long period, as a result of which the stepfather occupies a great importance in the heart and mind of the child. And you need to understand that if a child perceives a man as his father, and a man treats the child as his own, their relationship becomes outside the framework of the love relationship between a man and a woman. And if the relationship between a man or a woman stops for some reason, the relationship between a man and a child can continue and develop further.
It is important for a man to understand that he came to a family where there is already a child who was raised in a certain way. You can not think that retraining a child is easy and simple. First of all, it will be unpleasant for a woman and can cause an acute reaction on her part. A child is not a toy, it cannot be reshaped in an instant. On the part of the woman, the boundary of what is permitted should be drawn. There are common moments of upbringing when a man's position should be heard, because he is also a member of the family and has the right to participate in upbringing. But the child should not feel pressure and pressure. Therefore, a man should not educate him unprincipledly and disrespectfully, without having a sufficient base for this. That is, in the relationship of a man and a woman with a child, a certain balance of power must be achieved, when everyone is reasonably comfortable. Absolutely comfortable may not be immediately. But we must begin with the establishment of certain, understandable to everyone, boundaries that will not oppress either the child or the man. And this work falls entirely on the woman, how and how harmoniously she will build these relationships.
The answer to the question of what is more important - a man or a child for most women is obvious - a child. There are many men and not each of them is as unique as it seems at first glance. While a child is a unique and beloved person for a real mother. And all the thoughts and actions of a loving mother are built precisely on making the child comfortable. This does not mean that you should not think about yourself. Extremes do not benefit either the woman or her child. A woman needs to build her life. But do it in such a way that both the child and the woman feel harmonious and comfortable.
Many men, no matter how more experienced relatives and friends dissuade them, still try to build their relationships with women who are not suitable for family relationships - with divorced women with children.
In most cases, such relationships end in a logical separation. And there are many reasons for this.
Someone will say that there are examples of such long-term relationships, but as a rule they are all exceptions to disappointing rules.
Let's take a look at the reasons for the transformation of an ordinary young girl into a woman with a child unsuitable for creating any kind of family relationship. The whole thing lies in the very nature of women's education.
Before crossing the threshold of the registry office, a youthful, unintelligent individual should be aware of what she is actually facing after a divorce from a man expected by all the fibers of her soul. Perhaps she will be left alone, or even with children, and already agreeing to everything, just to somehow feed herself and her children.
This is where the most important thing begins.
Having staked out a sweet man for herself and bore him children, the girl immediately gets divorced in order to sue everything - from lifelong alimony to Gazprom shares with a view of the Cote d'Azur. But after the long-awaited divorce, many girls are in for an enchanting disappointment, comparable in strength to pretentious bewilderment. After a divorce, no one needs a woman with luggage, especially her ex-husband. Why does a normal man need an ex-girlfriend? Why does a man need a woman with luggage?
Men are creatures, scoundrels, scoundrels and terrible owners, for whom one of the most important criteria in life is the notorious rule - "my wife is my property, and not someone else's, period", and children are not always an exception to this.
Alas, in our modern world, mired in lack of culture and economic confusion, where the institution of marriage and family was completely and irrevocably lost in the distant Soviet years, marriage is just a part of divorce, and the birth of a child is a bargaining chip, such a strange phenomenon often happens, like marrying a woman with a child. And this is where a lot of underground shoals arise, which psychologists around the world do not even know how to characterize, except for one word - horror.
Alas, it must be admitted that by entering into such a relationship, a man does not create his own family, but only joins, on the bird’s rights, terrible for male psychological perception, to an already existing single-parent family, the family of a woman with a child and an ex-husband who, logically, has at least some then, but still communication with their children, even if by law they no longer live as a single happy society, capable of raising MENTALLY COMPLETE members of society in a favorable situation.
Of course, children in the marriage of divorced parents automatically become inferior, and unfortunately, the trauma of such a marriage affects the child's later life in a negative way, like the seal of an inferior family for the rest of his life.
And when an outsider links himself with a woman who has children from a previous marriage, a lot of problems are created.
Someone else's child - this time bomb, which sooner or later, but still explodes, and then it becomes bad, and all at once. The reason for all this is a pedagogical impasse, which consists in the fact that it is simply unrealistic to apply an advanced method of raising children in a family when a child feels and knows that a close person to his mother is not his own father.
In addition, in relation to her dear child, a woman will not allow any criticism, especially punishment or educational actions on the part of her new spouse, and for a child - a stepfather, even if other methods of influencing a spoiled lazy child simply do not work.
It is not difficult to imagine what kind of psychological trauma a child experiences in such a union - when his beloved only mother lives with an outsider, whom he must love and respect when the child has a real beloved and own father who does not live with them for reasons incomprehensible to the child.
In especially neglected cases, even a verbal instruction to a child is perceived by a woman as an attempt to exert physical and psychological pressure on the woman's only child.
In turn, the father, no matter how bad this expression sounds - the biological father, will clearly be against such an execution of his own child by the next boyfriend of his ex-wife, who brought a man into the house of an outsider and a stranger to their joint child. In such a relationship with a divorced woman with a child, the biological father will periodically emerge in the role of an extremely positive character - a Sunday dad, against which a negligent and hated unfortunate educator will look like a monster, tormentor and tyrant to the child.
In the scenario, when a man who has created a relationship with a divorced woman with a child will tactically step aside from the educational functions of someone else's non-native child, so as not to run into inappropriate criticism from the divorced woman and even the biological father of the child - he automatically goes into the category of negligent men who do not love a woman and children, even if children are not native to him.
It turns out a catastrophic vicious circle, from which there is simply no way out for a man who has created a relationship with a divorced woman with a child ...