Ecology of life. Psychology: Sometimes events occur, in the process or as a result of which we find ourselves in a situation where we don’t know...

When everything goes in the way that is familiar to us, in most cases we know without any problems what to do, how and when to do it.

But this does not always happen; sometimes events occur, in the process or as a result of which we find ourselves in a situation where we don’t know what to do, but we need to do something.

So what do you do when you don’t know what to do?

Today I will answer this question, the answer is actually simple. Efficiency in general is very often associated with simplicity and obviousness, which are lost in haste and panic of the unexpected. And most importantly - helping yourself is accessible to everyone.

So, the first and main rule, you need to clearly understand and follow it:when you don’t know what to do, first of all do what you know(at a comfortable pace and rhythm, remembering to rest). Complex, new or unfamiliar actions, as well as following impulses in important or difficult situations (issues) - most often lead to mistakes and worsening the situation + doing what you know helps with regaining feelings of control and security that usually disappear in difficult situations situations.

Second rule: learn to plan actions. Highlight the goal, break the goal into tasks (preferably in writing). The plan in its general form should be as simple and understandable as possible; the more complex (more global) the plan, the higher the likelihood of errors, since there are too many uncontrollable variables, as well as the possibility of forgetting or missing something.

Third rule: wait for the results of the actions according to plan. Even if the plan is of high quality and fully implemented, it takes time for the result to appear; complex situations, as a rule, are not immediately and radically resolved. Therefore, after each step (action) according to the plan, stop (pause) to see and realize the result.

Rule four:take better care of yourself.Oddly enough, but most often we are our own worst critics and worst enemies. We can give chances and opportunities to other people, often without reason, but we don’t want to give ourselves the slightest indulgence or the right to make mistakes (weakness, procrastination).

But we are – our main resource for solving situations, so we need to take care of ourselves, give ourselves chances – always!

Rule five: ask for help and accept help. Doing everything yourself, no matter what, demonstratively not asking for or accepting help - very often this is what prevents you from coping with the situation faster and more effectively. But in most cases, there are people nearby who are ready to help, you just need to ask (they don’t read minds) and don’t refuse when help is offered. If in doubt, see rule four.

Following these seemingly simple rules, at a minimum, will not hurt, and at maximum, it can really help and significantly facilitate the way out of an unforeseen difficult situation. published . If you have any questions about this topic, ask them to the experts and readers of our project .

Not enough information

Modeling

View from afar

It's impossible to predict everything

Almost every day we need to make choices, make decisions on one issue or another. We decide what to wear to work, what to eat for breakfast, etc. And it’s good when you need to make such a simple choice. But often we have to decide more important questions: where to go to study, where to invest money? In this case, future life and well-being may depend on the decision. Therefore, some people find it difficult to make any choice. But you need to be able to make decisions right here and now.

Instructions

To be able to accept solution Now, consider the situation from different angles, consider all the pros and cons. For example, you choose which university to enroll in between several. Just compare the advantages and disadvantages of studying in one and another educational institution. You can write down their characteristics on paper to make it easier to compare. Based on the results of the analysis, it will be easier for you to make a choice. This approach can be used to solve other tasks and problems.

When he doesn’t know what’s best to do, he not only wastes his time on it and is in a state of uncertainty and uncertainty, but also begins to experience more and more pain. The longer you wait to make a decision, the more difficult it is to make it later. Therefore, sometimes you just need your thoughts and make your choice, start. For example, you are not satisfied with your salary at your current job, and you are thinking whether or not you should change your job. Instead of thinking about it, start looking at job advertisements in newspapers and websites. Post yours there, contact a recruitment agency, ask your relatives. This way, you will find a more worthy job and make the decision to change jobs quickly and easily.

Imagine a situation where you have already made a certain decision. How do you think you will feel in this case? What benefits will your solution bring you? For example, you are offered a job in a reputable company with good career prospects. But you cannot make a final decision, since a good team keeps you in your existing job, and you know what and how. To understand whether the proposed vacancy is suitable for you, imagine that you are already an employee of this company. And try to answer the following questions: “Do I see myself in this company?”, “Do I want to develop as a professional?”, “Do I want to earn more?” If you answer yes, you should decide to change jobs. If you can't answer these questions, then don't take the risk.

Sources:

• We make important decisions in less than 60 seconds

The ability to make choices in a given situation allows a person to keep important matters under control. This also helps in small things: often a person spends too long thinking about what to eat or what to wear. Logical actions make the future predictable and the quality of life higher. What should you do to make the right decisions? Because sometimes it can be very difficult.

Instructions

In any endeavor, the best place to start is by setting your priorities. Think about what you are striving for, what result you expect from your decision, whether you can achieve what you want as a result of a specific choice.

Try to make a choice from the contrary, eliminating those options that will take you away from your intended path. Mentally think through all the consequences of your action, taking into account all kinds of “buts” and “ifs”.

Start taking action without delaying the decision. The process of collecting the necessary information should not last forever. Don't make your research on a topic redundant because the human brain can only process a limited amount of data. Stop in time so as not to overload your head with unnecessary information.

Not every decision turns out to be the most correct one. However, this does not mean at all that you should let go of the initiative. Tell yourself that at that moment you found the only correct way out. Awareness of the rationality of your action in the current situation will give you greater confidence in your abilities.

Very often, life requires a person to make lightning-fast decisions, without giving time to think. They say that when you don’t know what to do, do as your conscience tells you. More often try to put yourself in the place of another person, “pretend” your actions on yourself. If you learn to better understand and empathize with the needs of strangers, your conscience will help you make the right decision at the right time.

Try to change yourself step by step. For example, you used to quarrel with a friend about where to go, but now you throw a coin so as not to argue about a vacation spot, because the main thing for you is communication. You just couldn’t get around to opening an account because you didn’t know what criteria to use when choosing a bank. Now you have found a financial specialist and received sound advice. You have long dreamed of changing your hair color and getting a short, stylish haircut, but you still didn’t dare to do it. Yesterday you made an appointment with a friend’s hairdresser whose hairstyle you really like.

If you are naturally shy, try on a different type of behavior to become more decisive. Try to behave like an extrovert: make independent decisions more confidently and actively. Remember that your own choices, even if not the best ones, will make you happier.

Video on the topic

It is good that every person always has the opportunity to choose, but sometimes it can be very difficult to make the right decision. As a rule, the difficulty of choice is due to the fact that sometimes it is very difficult to predict the result of our actions, and as a result, doubts arise about which option is correct. To reduce such doubts, you need to adhere to some simple rules:

Video on the topic

When performing certain actions, people sometimes experience serious doubts about their integrity. However, there are clear criteria by which you can determine whether you are doing the right thing.

What you should listen to

When you make a difficult choice, psychologists recommend listening not to reason, but to your heart. The fact is that our logic is often shackled by a variety of doubts and contradictions, as well as complexes and imposed beliefs. Meanwhile, our feelings behave much more sincerely. If a person always acts according to his heart, then he knows no doubts and regrets about something that was not done. Psychologists are sure that deep down, everyone knows exactly what they should do, at least when the decision concerns their own life.

There is a good way to determine exactly what you are feeling at the moment. Take a coin and flip it. If something happens that you sincerely desire, then you will gladly do it. If you didn't like the choice of coin, it's obvious: you want something completely different! So do what you want, despite the coin.

Not enough information

Sometimes, even if you flip a coin, you cannot come to the right decision, simply because both options seem equally good or bad. In this case, the problem is usually a lack of information. Try to find out as much as you can about the solutions you found. Surely some of them will turn out to be less profitable in the future or when considering the details. Find out, and then you can make a choice.

Modeling

There are situations that need to be simulated, presenting all possible consequences of a decision. To do this, it is best to take a piece of paper and write down what awaits you in one and in another case. What criteria for the development of events are most important to you? Based on them, evaluate the situations that will arise after each of the decisions. Then it will become clear what action you should take.

View from afar

Often people are tormented by doubts, tormenting themselves with questions about how right they acted in this or that case, and whether they should have done it differently. If this sounds familiar to you, try looking at the situation differently. Remember that you live for more than one day, one month, or even one year. Try to look at your actions from afar, as if 20-30 years have passed, or even more. Most likely, it will become clear to you how good or bad your action is. Or maybe you even realize how minor a problem worries you.

It's impossible to predict everything

No matter what methods of analysis and predicting the consequences of your actions you use, life is still structured in such a way that it is impossible to foresee everything. There are such actions, the result of which can only be demonstrated by time. And even then, it’s not a fact that it will do this specifically for you. Perhaps only your descendants centuries later will be able to know whether you are right now.

Throughout life, a person makes millions of decisions, important and not so important. The ability to make the right choice is of key importance in the structure of our lives. There is a simple algorithm that will help you act more rationally.

People have spent many nights staring at the ceiling, contemplating their lives: What job to choose, how to solve problems, relationships. Likewise, during the day we constantly make choices: how to dress, where to have lunch, how to spend the evening, etc.

The correct selection process should look like this:

1. Defining the Goal


2. Determining its meaning


3. Exploring possible ways to achieve it


4. Determining the effectiveness of each option to achieve the goal


5. Choosing the method that is most effective

So, the first step of making a decision requires you to ask yourself the question: “What exactly do I want?” Once you set your goal, you need to figure out how to get there. Your beliefs, experiences, and personality will determine how you achieve your goals.

Let's say you need money. You can choose several options for receiving them:

• mow lawns in your area


• work in a store or restaurant


• look for a better paying job


• get trained and invest in something

To rationally determine the merits of each option, you need reliable sources of information. Insufficient or inaccurate information can distort the decision-making process or make it seem more important than it really is, such as when choosing which phone to buy. Fear of making the wrong decision can also influence your choice. This all needs to be taken into account.

Next, you must determine which choice will best suit your goal. If you urgently need to improve your financial situation, then the options may look like this:

My money problems are too significant for a lawn mower's salary. I don't have the time to learn about investing and the funds to invest money. I'll take a job in a restaurant, and while I work, I'll work on my resume to find a better paying job.

You can choose the final option and then see if it is effective. It would be great if it helped you achieve your goal. Otherwise, you need to make adjustments for a more accurate result.

Video on the topic

Sometimes situations arise when you need to make an important, sometimes even fateful, decision. In this case, you can’t delay action, but you need to think it over carefully.

Analyze the situation

If you have a difficult decision to make, you can't rush it. Think everything through first. Analyze the situation, collect all the necessary data that may be useful to you in determining an action plan. Believe me, it is better to thoroughly study the current situation than to regret the decision later.

When you are in a difficult emotional state, this is not the best time to take a life-changing step. Wait, give yourself time to calm down and come to your senses. Under the influence of strong feelings, you can assess the situation biasedly and make a mistake. Don't give in to your emotions and take control of them, and only then act.

Rely on logic and common sense. They are the ones who help you make the right decision. When the right move you have to make is obvious, but your feelings are against the future decision, you need to make an effort. Think about what will be best for you, what is more important to you, and act in accordance with your interests.

Take action

When you have thought everything over and decided, all that remains is to take a step. You need to have the courage to change the situation. Remember that you are responsible for your destiny and take control of the situation. Don't put off a difficult decision until later. Over time, the situation can only get worse, and you will be to blame for this.

Be honest with yourself, realize the need for change. Imagine what will happen to you in the future if you leave everything as it is now. Surely the picture will not be very attractive. If it hasn't been enough of a motivator for you, think about what opportunities lie ahead if you decide to make changes.

Believe me, avoiding problems is not the best strategy. Don't bury your head in the sand like an ostrich. Don't be afraid to make mistakes, take action. Believe in your own strength, trust yourself. If you doubt that you will succeed, remember your victories, successes, and how you successfully coped with non-standard tasks. You can also enlist the help of friends, family or experts.

Rely mentally on things that can inspire you. For example, think that you should not cling to the past, that change is necessary for progress in life. Remember that making a decision is simply necessary, and do not forget that you are acting in your own interests.

Some women, out of fear of loneliness, continue to maintain relationships that no longer suit them. This position deprives the girl of the right to personal happiness in the future.

Future plans

If you're having trouble leaving a dead-end relationship, think about your future. As long as you stay with your partner and cling to illusions, your life will be the same. To improve your personal life, build a new union with another man, you need to break up with an unsuitable young man, understand yourself, draw conclusions for the future, and experience unhappy love.

Maybe you hope that over time things will improve in your relationship with your boyfriend. If the fact is that you do not suit each other in character, outlook on life, or seriously disagree in your vision of the future, most likely nothing can be corrected. In this case, your optimism is inappropriate, even destructive.

Don't doubt that you deserve the best. You have the right to normal relationships and great, mutual love. If you have lost faith in yourself, your own attractiveness and femininity, perhaps the blame for this lies with your partner. Moreover, you should part with him before he completely ruins your life.

Pros of loneliness

Don't be afraid to be alone for a while. There are many advantages to freedom. Such a respite after an unsuccessful romance has a particularly beneficial effect on the female psyche. Just don’t immediately look for a new gentleman. Until you calm down and are ready for a full-fledged relationship, nothing good will come of your haste.

Give yourself time to rebuild and get over the breakup. Live a little for yourself. Now you don’t have to look after anyone or cook dinner when you don’t feel like eating. You don’t have to take your partner’s opinion into account when making your next purchase or choosing a place and time to relax. Enjoy personal freedom. You can attend any events you want, meet with friends, disappear whole evenings, go away for the whole weekend.

Accept this period as a gift. Then you will remember this time with warmth in your heart, if, of course, you manage it wisely. Take care of yourself, improve your health, work on your appearance. Now you have the opportunity to pay more attention to self-care. Update your wardrobe, try a new hairstyle.

Meet new people, travel. Find some new hobby, take up creativity or a new type of fitness, for example. Learn something new. Of course, a girl in a relationship can do all this. But if you are a free woman, you have more time and energy for this.

When a person sees problems with a friend, relative, or loved one, of course, he wants to somehow help him get out of a difficult situation. But it can be very difficult to direct another person’s thoughts in the right direction, to convince, or to give the right advice.

Instructions

Making a decision on your own is sometimes quite difficult. The problem and options for its solution are spinning in your head, and now doubts arise about what to choose so as not to face failure in the future. At this moment, many turn to another person - a friend, relative - for a solution to the problem, in the hope that he will be able to look at the problem from a detached perspective, from a different angle. If you happen to be this friend, remember a few techniques with which you can help a person with a problem without harming him in the process.

Discuss the situation together. Talking through the problem and options for solving it in some situations perfectly helps to resolve the issue, so perhaps already at this stage you can help the person find the most correct option. Otherwise, your unbiased and detached opinion will be able to guide your friend's thoughts.

Understand the problem deeply, and together with a friend, think through all the pros and cons. One of the main mistakes when making decisions will be superficial attention to the problematic issue. When a person looks at only part of the issue, he does not think about the other side of the situation. Such superficial snatching of unresolved moments can play a cruel joke on him, then the decision often turns out to be wrong. Always in someone else’s problem to the end, because now you are responsible for advice in someone else’s difficult situation.

Think about the person's interests, not your own. Often such advice is needed by overprotective parents, husbands, wives or best friends. When making decisions, they think more not about a person’s desires, but about their interest in his problem or the interest of the whole family. So it turns out that such help actually forces a person to solve someone else’s problems besides his own. If you have been asked to sort it out and come to the right conclusions, do not mix your own interests into solving the problem, take the person’s side and sincerely help him.

Don't impose your point of view. In other people's troubles, people know exactly what to do, are happy to give advice and feel offended if their advice is not taken. The person will need any help you have in solving the problem, but there is no need to insist that you are right. It may also happen that your opinion will convince a person of the correctness of his position, not yours. And this will also be a huge help for him, since thanks to you he found his solution.

Do not shift the responsibility for solving someone else's problem onto yourself. If you try too hard to convince your friend or relative, they may later blame you for making the wrong decision. Let him put an end to his problem himself, then responsibility for the conclusions drawn will fall on him. Let the person make the final decision and respect his opinion.

Give time, there is no need to rush a person to find the right path as quickly as possible. Complex questions need to be thought about until there is firm confidence in the decision. Therefore, do not push your friend or put pressure on him.

Video on the topic

Often people do not pay attention to their feelings, but act solely for rational reasons. Cold calculation will not help when choosing a life partner; sooner or later you will want a sincere relationship and true love. If you choose a profession following fashion, it is difficult to achieve high results and it is impossible to enjoy work you don’t like. When you feel discomfort and doubt, it is the soul that tells you that it is “against!” Learn to make decisions based on personal intuition and trust your feelings. Feelings of joy, lightness and inspiration are the best signs that the right path has been chosen.

Weigh the pros and cons

In controversial issues, it is best to write down the pros and cons on paper. It is important to be completely honest with yourself and ensure that arguments are not repeated. Then look at which arguments are more numerous - positive or negative, analyze which evidence is more weighty.

Listen to the experts' opinions

If you can’t make a decision on your own, seek help from professionals. There is no need to rely on the reasoning of your acquaintances: ordinary people often advise you to act in a way that is typical for them or, on the contrary, as they “would never do” themselves. Someone from a trivial situation is ready to cause a scandal and will be determined to bring the case to court, while for others it is easier to draw conclusions for themselves and forget about the unpleasant incident. Trust controversial issues to experienced specialists. If you have personal problems, discuss them with a psychologist. You will be sure that frankness will not backfire on you and you will receive help in making your own decision, and not someone else’s recommendation for action.

Take a break

When things are not going well and the search for the right paths does not lead to the desired result, put off solving this problem. “Let it go” and do something else. After time, perhaps there will be a way out on its own, or the issue will not seem so dramatic.

Once the decision is made, take action.

If at the stage of searching for the right path doubts are permissible, then after the final verdict we must get down to business. There are people who enjoy the process of generating ideas, but in practice they never implement them. They suddenly have other worries and anxieties, but in reality, a heap of problems accumulates. Don't get stuck in over-analysis, but simply implement what you have planned.

Video on the topic

First, you need to learn to understand what you like and really need. In a restaurant or cafe, choose exactly the food that you love and want to try, and not the one that is cheaper or simpler. In the store, buy the dress that you like and think fits you perfectly, and not what your mother, friend or designer from a fashion magazine advised you to wear.

The main thing is not to be afraid to take risks, this will help you learn to make decisions. At the most difficult moment, if you are confused or panicked, put yourself in the place of a person who is authoritative for you and try to look at the situation from his point of view.

Always look for the pros and profits rather than thinking about the cons and losses when making any decision. Imagine some situation from your past life in which you were unable to make your own clear decision, but you listened to someone else’s opinion and stopped watching, for example, reality TV. Try to analyze the development of events if you had made a different, opposite decision. What would change and in what direction?

And finally, learn to be capricious, discover the child within you who will always demand what he needs and try to get it. Even if in childhood your desires and decisions were not allowed to come true, but now you are not constrained by boundaries and frames, so why not take advantage of this and learn to make decisions.

Tip 12: How to make difficult choices when in doubt

It is difficult to decide on an important step and do something that you have never done before. What holds you back is the fear of the unknown, the fear that the choice will be wrong, that you will ruin your life or become an object of ridicule. Fear is a protective reaction of the body that protects a person from dangers, but at the same time it is also an obstacle standing in the way of a dream. To overcome fears, there is a simple psychological technique that can be used without leaving home.

Letter from the future

Take a piece of paper and write your name on top. Think about an important decision that you have to either accept or reject. Think about how your life will change in the next 12 months if you do take it. Think about all the advantages and disadvantages, calculate how much effort you will have to put in. Imagine in every detail what your future life will look like: what people will be around, how much money you will have, where you will live and what you will do.

After you mentally draw a picture of your future, pick up a pencil and write a letter to yourself - a letter from the future. Tell us how you are doing there, what you like and what worries you. Tell us what difficulties you faced and how you managed to overcome them. Describe how your life has changed and thank yourself for deciding to do this. Once you're done, fold the paper and hide it away.

Another letter from the future

Now imagine that you made a different decision and your life took a different path. What will it be like after 12 months? Write yourself another letter - from a different future. How are you doing? Describe everything in detail, seal the letter and also put it away. When describing your life, talk about both the good and the bad; there is no point in hiding shortcomings or embellishing reality, because no one will read it except you.

After a week or two, print out both letters and re-read them

What thoughts do they evoke in you? Happy or sad? Do you feel proud of your future self? Which scenario do you prefer? Now think about it, do you still feel fear of the unknown or does the future no longer seem so frightening to you? Writing letters from the future is a very useful exercise. It allows you to face your fears, calculate the consequences of your decisions, and see that the choice you face is actually not that difficult.

It is only in Hollywood blockbusters that superheroes save long-suffering humanity from evil forces without batting an eyelid. And life has its own “movie”: I can be quite “stupid” when I’m rude to someone on a minibus or when I’m lost in a strange city.

And what can we say about more serious situations - loss of a job, separation from a loved one, betrayal of a friend and other “dark things” in life?

So what to do when you don’t know what to do? After all, with the phrase from “The Diamond Arm”: “Chief, everything is lost!” Everything is lost!" I can't help my grief.

Calmly! Psychologists have developed a step-by-step plan for getting out of difficult life situations.

When you don’t know what to do: from hysteria to complete adequacy

Step #1. Turn off the hysteria.

And this means we stop tearing out our hair and eating sets (after all, we will still need them). Instead, we collapse on the sofa with a cup of mint tea and try to catch our “zen”. The ideal option is to get a good night's sleep.

Step #2. “Getting our claws out” into nature.

Nothing makes thoughts as clear as spring water, like sitting somewhere on the river bank.

And wrinkles in the corners of the eyes are best smoothed out by lying around for a week by the sea in warm regions - I tested it myself.

Hmm, if you’re really sad about time and money, then go to the park for at least a couple of hours - you’ll see and you’ll get an insight into what to do when you don’t know what to do with yourself, your life, or even an orchid on the windowsill, which stubbornly refuses to bloom.

Step #3. “Write, write, the paper doesn’t turn red.”

Having admired nature enough, come home, take a piece of paper and write in as much detail as possible about a situation in which you do not know what to do.

Don't worry about literary style - you're not writing memoirs, but getting rid of the rubbish from your head.

Step #4. Analyze it.

So, now it’s time to turn on your “thinking” to the fullest, that is, analyze how you managed to drive yourself into a corner or allowed someone to do this to you. Well, and, accordingly, remember this alignment so that this does not happen again.

For example, you quarreled with your mother because she doesn’t like your boyfriend. It would seem that this is definitely a bad event.

But, if you seriously think about what to do when you don’t know what to do in such a situation, you will understand:

• Hooray! Finally, you have outgrown your inner “good girl” and are ready to build your own life without looking back at your parents;
• Now you don’t need to hide your beloved from your mother’s watchful eye, which means you can breathe much more freely;
• from now on you know exactly how to act when your mother is dissatisfied with your personal life - stick to your line. And it's not fatal!
• next time you will more easily endure parental disapproval, since you already have experience;
• you showed your loved one how dear he is to you by going against your parent’s will. And this is worth a lot, especially when you don’t really know what to do.

In this way, in fact, you can analyze any life situation, so go for it!

Step #5. Brainstorm.

Oh, this is the most interesting activity when you don’t know where to go, where to go.

Imagine that your best friend Kolya came to you with the same problem that you have and said: “Whether you want it or not, to help you out, come up with 101 ways to get out of a lousy situation.”

Here it is important not to restrain yourself, but to write everything, even the most absurd, at first glance, thoughts.

Let's say you lost your job, and since you live in a tiny town, finding employment here is very difficult. You can start from the completely logical “I’ll call everyone I know - maybe someone has heard about free vacancies” to the fantastic “I’ll write to the Queen of England - I read on the Internet that she fired her maid.”

And the decision of what to do when you don’t know what to do right will be somewhere in the middle.

How to get out of depression on your own?

Step #6. “I have a plan, it’s very daring...”

From all these 101 methods (okay, you can do 50), choose those that will really help when you don’t know what to do. Formalize all these insights in the form of a clear plan (for a day, a week, a month, a year - depending on the complexity of the situation and your determination) - and go ahead and sing!

We managed to “resolve” the problem – great, we’re happy for you! No? Hmm, let's go back to step #1 and start all over again.

Step #7. Great things await us.

And now, having rolled up our sleeves and sighed heavily for the last time about our evil fate, we begin to implement our brilliant anti-crisis plan.

And if you don’t know what to do when faced with a difficult choice, experts recommend using several methods.

How to choose and not make a mistake?

Method number 1. Heads or tails? That's the question when you don't know what to choose.

No, we do not suggest using a coin to decide where to go on vacation - to Brazil, “where there are a lot of wild monkeys” or good old Egypt.

But when you cannot choose between two options, esotericists recommend tossing a coin and carefully listening to your feelings: if, for example, it lands on heads, meaning Brazil, and your inner voice screams: “What are you thinking, you fool? What is Brazil like? What jungle? I want to lie quietly and peacefully on an Egyptian beach!”, then you shouldn’t pretend to be Amerigo Vespucci.

In short, let’s listen to our intuition, open our chakras, and tune our antennas.

Method number 2. Lists, lists and scribbles.

This method is perfect for those who firmly believe in analytics and rational, unclouded by emotions choice: just take a blank piece of paper and write down the “pros” and “cons” of your potential choice.

Let's say you are deciding whether you need to leave your native village of Zyuzulkino and move to a metropolis.

And since the time has come to figure out what to do in this situation, when you don’t know what to do:

• remember that in a big city you will get big earnings, interesting acquaintances and leisure time a little more interesting than eating fried sunflower seeds at a rural club;
• however, you should be prepared for stiff competition for good jobs, rented apartments and that blue-eyed macho guy you've had your eye on at the gym.

Method No. 3. Look not for a woman, but for a successful man when you don’t know what to do.

Well, here everything is clear as day: when you need to cook a truly brilliant borscht, consult a familiar chef; if you need to decide what to do with your completely unruly child, go to your favorite old teacher.

Method number 4. The truth is not in wine, but in a dream, when you don’t know what to do.

Need to decide what to do when you don't know what to do? Then go through all the options for solving a complex issue in your head and go to bed. And may you dream not of Palma de Mallorca, but of a brilliant business plan or a completely innovative method of teaching English.

What to do if life is a complete mess and you don’t know what to do next?

Method No. 5. Who is Superman? I myself am very good!

No, we are not proposing to take over the Universe armed with an atomic bomb. But imagining how a person who is an authority for you acted in your difficult situation is a very effective way to decide what to do when it is not clear what to do.

If you are not tempted by the prospect of imagining yourself as the President of the United States or, at worst, Spider-Man, psychologists recommend asking yourself a few questions when making difficult life choices:

7 “magic” questions

Now, knowing about all these techniques for making the right decision when it is not entirely clear what to do, when you don’t know what to do, you will be calm as a boa constrictor. Hmm, even in that “difficult” case when you have to choose between the shades of lipsticks “Wild Purple” and “Fire Red”.

Everyone has had such moments in life when we had to make decisions, we didn’t know what to do. First of all, information is usually collected. It is necessary to look at the facts, what is for and what is against. But even in this case, we cannot always come to a final decision.

When you cannot make a decision with your mind, it is because the same mind is interfering with you.​

Otherwise, I call it the voice in my head. Many people don't even notice it. But it is he who creates an endless internal monologue, sometimes turning into dialogue. The inner voice splits into two, you begin to talk to yourself. You get used to it and after a while you stop noticing it. When there are tough choices to be made, this voice is not very helpful. He constantly criticizes you, comments on everything you did wrong.

Others get the same. It's like living with someone who can't stand you. You would not live with such a person; you would try to break off the relationship. But because you cannot get rid of your mind, you are stuck. As a result, there is a lack of determination to act. You don't feel the positive aspects of your decision.

The voice in your head creates many problems that turn out to be unrealistic. They haven't happened yet and may only happen tomorrow or next week. Listening to problems that haven't arisen is another name for worrying. And all this because of the voice in my head. He is worried about various “what if”, “what if”... He is dissatisfied with what is happening, he is in agony. As a result, you stop experiencing the joy of life.

Sometimes, the voice in your head turns into complaints. When you are confused in your mind and don’t know where to go next, a voice in your head starts complaining about something else that is not at all suitable. About the weather, about the bad economy... About the fact that you didn’t think that your life would go this way and that everyone but you is to blame for the fact that things turned out this way and not otherwise. Complaining adds nothing but heaviness. A big bag of rocks on your back while you try to figure out what to do. In many cases, it prevents you from taking at least some action.

Now imagine that the voice in your head suddenly stops. You become aware of an amazing silence. This is exactly what you need to make an effective decision. You need to be in the present. You need to free yourself from everything that is not happening now.​

Of course, you can't snap your fingers and the voice will disappear. Some people spontaneously experience this condition while engaging in extreme sports. Climbing a steep cliff, looking for somewhere to put a foot, or something to grab onto with a hand, they notice that they stop thinking. They are totally present, because if you slip into thinking, they will fall down the mountain. Others go into nature, look at the beauty around them, listen to the birds singing, the rustling of leaves, and suddenly realize what it means to be present in the present. But you don't have time to wait until you get involved in dangerous activities or find yourself in the wild. However, you can always remain in the present, the focus of attention has shifted from thinking to the perception of the vitality of your body.

When you are in the present, your perception, hearing, and vision instantly become sharper. You feel a silence that cannot be created with your own hands. She was always here under the cover of thoughts. You begin to distinguish, your situation is this, but this is what my mind says about it. This does not mean that you completely ignore the future and that you will not plan things for tomorrow. This means that your focus is in the present. You will plan, but always come back into direct, living contact with what is happening.

How to achieve this?
One way is to notice the voice in your head. Once you hear what you are thinking, you can stop thinking. Another way is to ask yourself, what problems am I having right now? It often awakens. Yes, right now I have no problems. For example, you haven't lost your job right now. You may lose it later, but you don't have it now. Yes, after a while a challenge from life may arise and you will have to take some action... But the problems disappear, they turn into events of life. The moment the challenge arises, you will answer it.

When you understand what the situation really is, and not how your mind describes it to you, you will stop wasting energy.​

The situation exists, but you don't waste your energy worrying. You don’t pour alcohol on it, don’t give in to despondency, don’t get into debates, don’t rush from one person to another looking for advice. Resistance goes away. It was your thinking about the situation that made you weak, but not the situation itself. You continue to do your daily activities, but there is room for intuition. Because when you are connected to silence, you are also connected to the creative mind, which is much higher than the analytical powers of the mind.

Very often decisions come unexpectedly. However, this does not mean that it should come right away.​

You may need to continue living your normal life, but this time will create a space of silence within you in which intuition can manifest itself. In the end, whether you choose one or the other doesn't really matter.

If you stay in the present when making decisions, you will remain in the present in the next situation and make your choice when the need arises.

There will always be many ways to do things one way or the other. It's not what you do, but how you do it that matters. What is important is your consciousness that you bring to what is happening. Then you will feel vitality in everything you do.