How to become gallant. The difference between being a sycophant and being truly chivalrous


The modern rhythm of life and human behavior have become sharply different from what people have been accustomed to seeing for a long time. In the post-Soviet space, this difference is felt especially sharply. It's rare to see gallantry on the part of a man these days. Has this quality gone out of fashion or is it still relevant?

Why show gallantry?

First of all, it is worth saying what this concept means. Gallantry originates from the Middle Ages, when it came to the knightly code of honor. This word, which has come down to us, means “refined politeness” in French. How often can one encounter manifestations of this quality?

Although gallantry often indicates good upbringing, some men in modern society do not use this attitude towards the opposite sex out of principles of honor. For many representatives of the stronger sex, acting gallantly means doing something with the aim of impressing or seducing a woman.

However, there are those who understand that behaving gallantly in the company of representatives of the fairer sex is a sign of one’s own dignity, good manners and nothing more. Unfortunately, the less common this quality is, manifested with the right message, the more often it is interpreted as flirting and inappropriate attention. What does gallantry look like?

What is this quality expressed in?

In a society where a woman sometimes strives to become more independent, a gallant person is not always the one she expects to see. This wonderful quality, which disappears over time from the life of society, is characterized by simple actions. For example, when a woman goes down the steps, she follows. Gallantry is also manifested in the fact that a man helps his companion put on her coat, lets her forward, opening the door for her, and pulls up a chair when she is about to sit down.

Such simple actions, which were the norm for an educated society, today can be interpreted not as politeness, but as signs of attention to a person of the opposite sex. That is why such behavior is typical of young people who care for a girl. This means that displays of gallantry towards married ladies cannot always be correctly assessed by those around them.

Acting gallantly does not mean only being polite in your behavior. Sometimes this quality manifests itself towards a woman even before there is a need for any action. For example, when meeting someone, a gallant man should show his respect by saying the phrase “Nice to meet you” or “Nice to meet you.”

Also a manifestation of gallantry is the ability to conduct a conversation correctly. A woman may feel awkward in the company of a gentleman, so she should avoid topics that are completely unfamiliar to her. Difficulties may arise with this, because most “male” conversations are not interesting to the fairer sex. However, behaving at ease, a man remains gallant if he starts a conversation about something that is familiar to his companion.

In family

Although chivalry is a quality that is often used by a man to achieve certain goals, such as impressing a woman or winning her trust, it should not only be used in certain situations to solve assigned problems. Family psychologists unanimously assert that good manners indicate a spouse’s genuine respect for his chosen one. People who have been married for a long time no longer need to impress each other with anything, much less conquer each other. But showing gallantry will make the relationship between the spouses stronger.

The reason that gallantry has become less common is not only the bad manners of men, but also the desire of women to become more independent. Many representatives of the fairer sex regarded signs of appropriate attention from gentlemen as evidence of condescension shown to weak and helpless individuals.

The influence of gallant attitude

The manifestation of noble qualities has a positive effect on people. If a man acts gallantly, this gives him the opportunity to feel like a real protector, a strong personality. The manifestation of this quality towards her makes a woman even more feminine and attractive. A gallant man is someone every woman dreams of meeting. But even if this quality is shown by a friend or a complete stranger, such an attitude still reminds the lady of her uniqueness and warms the soul.

No matter what the modern man is, some men will still continue to show gallantry. Representatives of the stronger sex have this attitude towards women in their genes. Nothing will dislodge from a man’s subconscious the idea that he is a strong person and will always take a blow.

- (French galant.). Helpful, kind to ladies, trying to please. Dictionary of foreign words included in the Russian language. Chudinov A.N., 1910. GALLANT [fr. galant] exquisitely polite, extremely courteous. Wed. CORRECT, COURTOUSE... Dictionary of foreign words of the Russian language

Cm … Synonym dictionary

gallant- oh, oh. galant, adj. 1. Exquisitely polite, amiable (about a person). BAS 2. || Expressing exquisite politeness, courtesy. I make the most gallant bow, bending my torso forward. Kuprin Army Ensign. 2. In artistic creativity... ... Historical Dictionary of Gallicisms of the Russian Language

GALLANT, gallant, gallant; gallant, gallant, gallant (French galant) (obsolete). In a bourgeois environment, he is exquisitely polite, extremely courteous towards women. Gallant. He acted gallantly (adv.). Ushakov's Explanatory Dictionary... Ushakov's Explanatory Dictionary

gallant- French – galant (courteous, amiable, graceful). In the Russian language, the adjective “gallant” became generally known no earlier than the last quarter of the 19th century; it appeared much later than the words “haberdashery”, “haberdashery”. The word "gallant" goes back to... ... Semenov Etymological Dictionary of the Russian Language

gallant- oh, oh; ten, tna Exquisitely polite, extremely amiable. Gallant manners. A gallant young man. I make the most gallant bow, bending my torso forward (Kuprin). Synonyms: correct, courteous, helpful, courteous... Popular dictionary of the Russian language

gallant- terribly gallant... Dictionary of Russian Idioms

Star. golant (Kurakin); see Smirnov 78. From French. galant or new V. n. gallant... Etymological Dictionary of the Russian Language by Max Vasmer

- (French), exquisitely polite, amiable, courtly. (Source: Dictionary of Sexual Terms) ... Sexological encyclopedia

I adj. 1. Exquisitely polite, amiable, courteous (about a person). 2. Expressing such qualities. II adj. Associated with the depiction of exquisite lyrical scenes from the life of court ladies and gentlemen (in artistic works mainly from the 18th century... Modern explanatory dictionary of the Russian language by Efremova

Books

  • Illustrated history of morals. The Gallant Age, Eduard Fuchs. 1994 edition. The condition is good. In this book, the author turns to the era of European absolutism, when the unconditional cult of women flourished as a source of happiness, pleasure and love.…
  • Gallant Cavalier Collection of songs and arrangements for button accordion and accordion, V. Korovitsyn. The pieces included in the collection are not very difficult to perform, but at the same time bright, imaginative, and effective. Some of them assume the presence of a ready-selectable left keyboard, absolutely...
  • Gallant detective: Dagger with a Maltese cross. Book 3 (Digital Version) (Digital Version) by Martha Tarot. Audiobook Dagger with a Maltese Cross is the third novel by Martha Tarot from the fascinating series Gallant Detective, in which Tarot cards offer readers a new mystery in the genre of historical…

To the question How important is the gallantry of a gentleman for women? given by the author Toothy lyricist the best answer is Gallantry
The concept of gallantry is usually traced back to the Chivalric Code of Honor that existed in the Middle Ages.
Gallantry in French means exquisite politeness, extreme courtesy.
Modern etiquette has largely inherited the principle of gallantry towards women.
It reinforces actions that express unobtrusive guardianship, protection, care and worship of a woman.
It should be noted that gallantry is important not only in public, when going out, but also in everyday life. This is exactly what ladies expect from their gentlemen.
Gallantry can melt the most unapproachable heart.
....
Some modern women begin to behave in such a way that any display of gallantry only brings out the comicality of any situation when the door is opened in front of them in order to let them in, and they stand and wait in bewilderment as to why you did it.
Women, even the most powerful ones in our modern world of business and modern technology, must be familiar with the cultural values ​​of men and women. There are, for example, women who think that gallantry is a manifestation of love, although it is simply attention to a woman, and it cannot depend on personal sympathies.
Girls think that gallantry without displaying other special feelings is a very valuable trait of any man. No matter how strong and strong he is, he must know what a girl is and understand all their fragility.
If a guy showed gallantry towards a woman, but she doesn’t understand it, the guy will never want to show this gallantry in the future, and it turns out that the girls themselves are to blame for the lack of this gallantry on the part of men.
But if there is any sympathy between a guy and a girl, gallantry only warms up the relationship, it’s a kind of interesting game, and both the guy and the girl like it.
Even if you are both in a long-term and strong relationship, gallantry renews your feelings and intensifies your relationship.
Many women have this impression about guys precisely in their sensitive attention to women.
If a man opens the door for you and asks how you are, then you will be in a good mood.
The girl is no longer so lonely, and even if this is not just a friend, but more than a comrade, or even a complete stranger.

Men often use chivalry to attract women, but the variability in their behavior should not be noticeable, even if it is just your friend.
Men must maintain their special status, and this should in no way depend on any weather conditions, seasons, and, of course, on the object of your gallantry.

Answer from 2 answers[guru]

Hello! Here is a selection of topics with answers to your question: How important is the gallantry of a gentleman for women?

Answer from Juliette, but not Capuleti[guru]
For me 100%


Answer from Rainbow[guru]
for a while...)))


Answer from *** [guru]
What is gallantry?
- This is the relationship of Adam to Eve in the pre-Apple period.
- No! This is the ability of a man sitting in the subway to quickly pick up a dropped weapon.
the glove of the lady standing next to him.
It is as important as the decency and impeccability of a woman is important to you (men).. You are the same as us, you look different, but you need the same thing as us.. respect, attention.. etc.


Answer from Galyak Alfovich[guru]
In the first couple of minutes, it is necessary in order to attract attention.

Just 100 years ago, a well-bred young man simply had to be gallant. To this day, this concept has, in fact, been lost, because gallantry implies refined politeness, courtesy, restraint, the ability to maintain a conversation and control oneself in any situation, to unobtrusively provide a service, to shower an unpleasant interlocutor with cold, contemptuous politeness, and much more that is equally important and necessary for an educated person. It is very pleasant that today, having achieved a certain material well-being, many young people understand that it is necessary to fill the gaps in their education.

One of the most important signs of gallantry is the ability to find topics for communication with an interlocutor of any age group. Take a closer look at yourself and those around you: how often we remain awkwardly silent while listening to the maxims of an elderly moral teacher, don’t know how to answer the corrosive questions of a respectable matron, are completely lost and blush when communicating with a girl we like, or demonstrate excessive looseness when trying to find a common language with a thirteen-year-old teenager .

The most significant difficulties arise when communicating with representatives of the better half of humanity. After all, you know the men’s “on duty” topics (business, sports, politics) - one of them will definitely affect the interlocutor. But what to talk about with a lady? Talking about fashion, cosmetics, and jewelry is not always appropriate, especially since ladies are usually convinced that no one can understand these issues better than them. Flowers remain. All women like them, so the topic should interest the beautiful seductress.

You can talk about artists and poets who glorify perfection, who worshiped the beauty and grace of wild and garden flowers. Interest your interlocutor with an unusual fact (“Have you tried putting white lilacs in colored water? You can get a soft pink, carmine red or golden yellow bouquet.”). Intrigue with the promise of choosing a bouquet of flowers for a lady that emphasizes her beauty and individuality.

Just don’t forget about your promise, especially since it’s quite easy to fulfill it: check out Flower-shop.ru - you’ll see that the choice of flowers, bouquets, and floral arrangements is huge. A bouquet of peonies, bright and life-affirming, is perfect for a brown-haired woman; for a beauty of the northern type, a bouquet of lilies of the valley will be a wonderful surprise - delicate, porcelain bells with a subtle unique aroma will emphasize her strict charm, and the passionate southern beauty, of course, will correspond to scarlet roses.

And don’t forget to look after your companion, rest assured: modern ladies will be able to appreciate your gallantry!

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For some, gallantry is good manners instilled from childhood, for others it is a way of seduction. Everyone sees their own meaning in this. What good (or bad) does such behavior give us and why is chivalry rapidly disappearing from our everyday lives these days?

Handing over a coat, opening the door for a lady, offering a hand when getting off the bus... It seems like nothing special, and many men, fortunately, still do these little rituals. After all, every woman likes to feel respectful towards herself. Gallantry is closely related to good manners. From which we can draw a simple conclusion that gallant behavior is becoming obsolete due to the lack of an appropriate example in schools and families.

Another reason why gallantry is disappearing from our everyday lives is women themselves. Many representatives of the fair half of humanity consider this behavior of men as recognition of women as the weaker sex, and perceive it as a personal insult. Men, in turn, are once again convinced of the uselessness and irrelevance of gallant behavior.

On the other hand, during the period of courtship and dating, every man strives to show his best side. During this period, gallantry is a kind of game in which a man and a woman open up more fully and take on certain roles. This kind of “game” is appropriate not only at the beginning of a relationship, but is also useful for people in fairly long-term relationships. After all, mutual respect, courtesy, politeness and courtesy fuel the union of a man and a woman and support mutual sympathy for each other.

Of course, we can highlight the fact that gallantry is not always something natural. It is rather a skill of communication between a man and a woman developed at a certain age. But nowadays women prefer sincere tenderness that comes from the heart rather than false politeness. But I think many women will agree that these two concepts can be divided into different areas of life. It is more pleasant to receive sincerity and tenderness from a loving man, coupled with gallantry, but from strangers you still want to expect good manners and good manners.

Every woman and every man decides for themselves how to treat and behave with each other - to be on an equal footing, to compete, to show each other respect or to ignore. However, I’m sure that a good half of women will agree that in any situation it’s nice when they give you a hand or hold the door.

How to develop gallantry in our men

Our men, for the most part, do not really understand that we women need both food and air - gallant courtship, or more precisely, the attention that is shown to us with the help of this gallant courtship.

A woman needs constant confirmation that she is loved. What does a woman see as the maximum manifestation of love? Strange as it may seem for men who work day and night for the well-being of the family and thereby prove their love and commitment - in romantic actions and small, but so dear to the heart, signs of attention.

Without flowers, perfume, opening doors, handing over coats, invitations to a restaurant, cafe, for a walk, shopping for your favorite candies, gifts not for the eighth of March, without male gallantry, a woman’s heart becomes very sad, but men have no idea about it. Where do they come from? Their mothers did not raise them to be gallant gentlemen; this knowledge was not taught at school.

What to do? The recipe is primitive, but it works well with normal people: tell the man that all these “little things” make you happy and ask him for some of the “little things” listed. And what is important is not only to tell and ask, but also to react very violently and joyfully when he first awkwardly and awkwardly drags home a couple of flowers or a bag of unexpected sweets.

If you do this several times, the man will like it, the new behavior will be consolidated, and the man will begin to show gallantry more and more often.

And even if a man is allergic to flowers, he will still give them to you to please his soulmate. And to help with allergies - Allergodil nasal spray http://allergodil.ru/nazalnyj-sprey.html

There are more difficult situations when a man does not respond to such conversations and does not respond to requests. In this situation, you can be angry, or you can act wiser.

And a wise woman in this situation does this: she looks for at least something even remotely reminiscent of gallantry in a man - for example, he takes out the trash every morning, or helps carry an overly heavy package home - and begins to celebrate this.

Say sincere thanks for this, praise him in front of friends and relatives, call him a gallant gentleman, a courageous man, etc. Few people refuse praise, and as a result, the title “gallant man” slowly sticks to him. A man begins to recognize himself in a new image and soon he will want to justify this title. Try it, it works!